Fake Friend vs Real Friend: 10 Differences

10 differences between a fake friend and a real friend

1. When you share good news. A fake friend says “nice” and changes the subject. A real friend is genuinely happy, and maybe even more excited than you.
2. When you’re having a bad day. A fake friend disappears or makes it about themselves. A real friend checks on you, even if it’s just a message.
3. When you’re not around. A fake friend talks about you. A real friend defends you.
4. When you tell a secret. A fake friend shares it, or uses it later in an argument. A real friend keeps it, even after you fall out.
5. When you make a mistake. A fake friend laughs at you or tells everyone. A real friend tells you the truth kindly, in private.
6. When plans change. A fake friend drops you the moment something better comes up. A real friend keeps their word, or tells you honestly.
7. When you make new friends. A fake friend gets jealous or tries to pull you away. A real friend is happy you have more people in your corner.
8. When you need help. A fake friend is busy, unless they need something too. A real friend helps without keeping score.
9. How you feel after hanging out. With a fake friend: tired, anxious or a bit worse about yourself. With a real friend: relaxed, lighter, and like yourself.
10. How well they know you. A fake friend knows your name and your Instagram. A real friend knows your fears, your favourite snack and how you take your tea.

Nobody is perfect

Real friends mess up too. They forget things, say something hurtful without thinking, or go quiet when they’re dealing with their own stuff. The difference is that a real friend says sorry and does better. A fake friend makes excuses and does it again.

It also works both ways. Read the list again and ask yourself which side you are on for your friends. Most of us have been a bit of a fake friend at some point, and noticing it is how you become a better one.

How to find out who’s real

• Notice who shows up when you’re sick, sad or stressed, not just when it’s fun.
• Notice who asks about you, and remembers the answer.
• Test how well they know you. Make a Fake Friend Test with questions about yourself and share it. Real friends usually score high, because they pay attention. Need ideas? Here are 50 “how well do you know me” questions.

Keep the real ones close

You don’t need lots of friends. Two or three real ones are worth more than a big group of people who only like you when it suits them. If you’re seeing a lot of the fake side in someone, these 15 signs of a fake friend can help you decide what to do.